A Reddit user decided not to give the wedding present he promised because he was uninvited from the wedding. He turned to the AITA subreddit wanting to know if he had made the right decision.
The original poster (OP) is a 32-year-old male who was invited to the wedding of an acquaintance named Molly. Despite not being close to Molly or her fiance, the OP accepted the invitation because he loves weddings.
The OP also mentioned that he’s been successful in his career and makes an excellent living. He loves to splurge a bit and is generous with gift-giving.
He spoke with the couple and ended up promising them a custom gaming PC since Molly and her fiance enjoyed gaming together. The bill for the computer came to a bit over $1,500.
Not long after the order was placed, Molly told the OP that he could not attend due to budgetary concerns. She said she was sorry and that cost-cutting was the only reason he was uninvited. The OP was disappointed but understood.
The Truth Comes Out
Prior to the wedding, the OP learned through a mutual acquaintance that budgetary constraints were not the real reason he was uninvited.
The acquaintance told him that Molly revealed she cut people because she needed to accommodate some of the groom’s family, who decided to attend. This revelation upset the OP. He decided not to gift Molly and her groom the custom gaming rig he promised.
It wasn’t being uninvited that led to the decision to forego the gift. It was more the lie.
“Although I did want to go and was looking forward to it, I would have understood if she told me straight up. I just didn’t like that she lied to me,” the OP explained.
The Bride’s Response
After the wedding, the bride texted the OP to find out when the PC would arrive. The two hopped on a phone call to discuss the matter.
The OP told Molly since he didn’t go to the wedding, he would not be getting her a gift. The conversation then turned into a heated argument.
The bride accused the OP of being petty, holding a grudge, and breaking his promise. The OP did not reveal he knew the truth about why he was uninvited to protect the person who told him.
What Did Their Friends Think?
Molly then complained about his decision to their friend group. The OP also explained his side to a few people within the group. Most agreed with the OP, but some implied that weddings force people to make difficult decisions that shouldn’t be taken personally.
After some of their mutual friends tried to justify Molly’s behavior to the OP, some doubt crept in for the OP. He feels it’s possible that he is just being petty and taking things too personally.
He acknowledges that he did promise to buy the couple the PC. But Molly uninvited him, lied to him about why he couldn’t come, and still expected an expensive gift.
Redittors Chime In
Most of the Reddit users who shared their opinions on the matter felt it was inappropriate for Molly to expect a gift from someone who was uninvited.
“You’re under no obligation to give a gift for a wedding you’re not invited to. Inviting someone and then uninviting them is the height of tackiness. Molly should be ashamed of herself,” one user wrote.
Molly’s dishonesty about why the OP was uninvited ruffled some feathers among the Reddit community as well.
“Had she been honest about why she cut you, things could be different. It’s the fact that she couldn’t be honest with you and still expects something from you.”
While nobody implored the OP to follow through with the expensive gift, he was not immune to scrutiny. Some users felt he went overboard with the gift he promised. It was even suggested he could’ve avoided the drama with a more traditional gift. As one user pointed out:
“A. $1,500 is an extraordinary amount to spend on a wedding gift unless you’re extremely close.
B. A PC is a super weird wedding gift.
C. People don’t normally announce what their gift is or the value before giving it to the bride and groom.”
What Do You Think?
Is the bride delusional for expecting an acquaintance she uninvited to come through with a custom PC? Is the OP out of line and petty for deciding not to give the gift he promised? What would you do if you were in the original poster’s shoes?
Read the entire Reddit thread here.
Jerry is a personal finance enthusiast, side hustler, and freelance web developer who began his career in financial services. He co-founded KindaFrugal.com, a personal finance and frugal living blog. His insights have appeared on MSN, Newsweek.com, HerCampus.com, Mashed.com, and many others.