Facts vs. Fiction: Challenging 15 Deep-Seated Parenting Myths

Parenting recommendations have drastically changed over the years. Some so-called “experts” in the 1950s suggested building a cage outside a window to leave your baby in so it could get fresh air. We now know better than to dangle a baby out of the window. According to real parents in a recent message board discussion, many still consider this list of disproven parenting myths a fact. Do you agree?

Avoid Certain Foods for Allergy Development

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“To prevent allergies, avoid giving your child these foods until they are much older…It has been proven over and over again that exposing your child to traditionally allergy prone foods in very small amounts when they are younger drastically reduces allergy potential. Even to the point of doing so in utero.”

Having a Child Will Mature You

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For many people, having a child changed them and motivated them to grow up and get their act together, but this is not the case for everyone. Unfortunately, there are too many parents who can’t cut it and end up abandoning their children. Tragically, one commenter shared, “I have a family member that tried this. He and his girlfriend were addicts. They specifically decided that they should try to get pregnant as motivation to stop doing drugs. It didn’t work.”

Non-verbal Kids Don’t Understand You

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One parent shared, “Our son is nonverbal, and I could list a million times when he very clearly understood what we were saying. We’re making progress with an iPad program using visual icons, and it’s amazing to start seeing what he knows but couldn’t express. Honestly once you get to know someone enough, you communicate so much without verbal language anyway. This morning, when I took him to school, he led me over to their touch screen TV, touched one of the learning programs to open it, and started showing me how he could match the pictures and colors…Just because his ways of communicating are different than most people doesn’t make his thoughts and feelings any less valid.”

Don’t Spoil Your Newborn

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“You can not spoil a newborn. Their brain is still quite underdeveloped, and actually, by refusing to answer their calls, you can give them self-regulation issues as they develop without that safety in processing new stimuli,” shared one mom. Fear of coddling babies was big in the 1950’s but has since been proven wrong, as having safety, support with emotional regulation, and comfort is very important to a developing baby.

Dad Is the Babysitter

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One father shared his point of view: “Dads are more than babysitters. It’s been 20+ years since I was a single father, but the attitudes towards men and parenthood haven’t changed as much as they should have. Don’t ask a dad if he is giving mom a break today. Don’t assume dad doesn’t know how to settle down their child. Don’t stare at Dad at the park when Dad is there with his kid(s). And for god sake can businesses install a change table in the men’s washroom!”

Boys Are Easier to Raise

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Many commenters explained that boys are not necessarily easier but are expected by society to take care of themselves emotionally and physically in a way they shouldn’t. One user said, “Boys are ‘easier’ because they don’t express their emotions as much because parents (and society at large) condition them not to express their emotions and ‘be a man/toughen up.'” Another commenter said, “They’re also ‘easier’ because they’re more often left to their own devices, expected to be independent, not supposed to be coddled, allowed to misbehave/be physical (“boys will be boys!”) etc in ways that girls aren’t.”

Your Motherly Instinct Will Kick In

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This happens to some people, but many moms don’t experience this instinct immediately. One reader said, “There is not nearly enough education given to new parents that hey, you may not instantly bond with/love this baby the very first day, and that is COMPLETELY OKAY. As long as you find things improving over time and aren’t feeling like you want to hurt or abandon the baby, you are allowed to give the process some time.”

Kids Are Resilient and Don’t Need Things Addressed

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Many parents employ the “forget about it, and maybe it will disappear” tactic. Often, people aren’t comfortable with their emotions, so they have difficulty listening to their children and validating their feelings. Forgetting things won’t make them go away. It’s always more healing for all parties to address issues head-on, understand and validate the other person’s experience, and make amends if necessary.

A Quiet Child Is a Happy Child

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Just because a child is quiet doesn’t mean they are fulfilled. One parent said, “My son’s class is filled with iPad children, and my god do they all have about as much happiness and charisma as a sack of dead puppies.”

Nobody Regrets the Kids They Had

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Although you don’t want to think of anyone wishing they’d never had children, it does happen. It’s not very socially acceptable for people to talk about their real feelings about having children, but for certain parents, it’s less rosy than the media would suggest.

You Should Always Stay Together for the Kids

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Although it’s never a cut-and-dry situation, staying together, no matter what is not always the best option. One commenter said, “All it does is model unhealthy relationships for the child(ren), and they’ll grow up thinking it’s normal for spouses to hate each other, fight, yell, etc…” Having said that, divorce is its own trauma for kids, so it’s an intensely personal decision based on each unique situation and its effect on parents’ mental health and the health of the kids.

Children Owe Their Parents

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“This destructive myth that we are OWED respect and love from our kids – NOPE! They are attached to us, yes, but love and respect are earned. Fear is not respect; guilt is not love; we chose to have kids, they had no say in the matter. It is incumbent upon us to reach them by mirroring the behaviors we value,” said one parent.

Corporal Punishment Is the Best Way to Discipline

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“There’s a lot of evidence that corporal punishment is contraindicated in disciplining a child for a multitude of reasons,” said one user. Another revealed, “It profoundly harms a child’s ability to form secure attachment and it can be trauma forming and both of those can lead to dysfunctional adult relationships.”

Children Shouldn’t Learn a Second Language Before Mastering Their First

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The research shows that the best time to learn multiple languages is when you’re a child. It’s easier for children to soak it up like a sponge while learning languages gets harder as you age.

Kids Throw Tantrums to Manipulate

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One parent said, “Nope. Kids are overwhelmed and have never learned how to process their emotions. When an adult dismisses the child as trying to be manipulative or tired, or just punishing them/giving into them, it does not solve the problem. Kids need to learn how to regulate their feelings, deal with disappointment, recognize when overwhelmed, etc. Unfortunately, most adults don’t even know how to do that, and the cycle continues.”

Source: Reddit

Generational Shift: 18 Classic Cars Loved by Boomers, Snubbed by Millennials

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In the world of automobiles, some cars are timeless, forever etched in the minds and hearts of those who drove them. But generational shifts in taste and values can lead to once-beloved vehicles being relegated to the shadows. Let’s revisit 18 classic cars adored by Baby Boomers but often overlooked by Millennials.

Generational Shift: 18 Classic Cars Loved by Boomers, Snubbed by Millennials

From Boom to Bust: 18 States on the Brink of Financial Ruin—What Went Wrong?

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We’re embarking on a financial roller coaster ride through 18 states, and it isn’t the fun kind. We’re talking about states having to check under the mattress and behind the couch cushions for extra change. These states are trying to balance their budgets, but the numbers aren’t increasing. Why are they skimming through their wallets like they lost a 20-dollar bill? Let’s find out!

From Boom to Bust: 18 States on the Brink of Financial Ruin—What Went Wrong?

Avoid These 19 Pointless Expenses When Living Paycheck to Paycheck

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Living from paycheck to paycheck puts one in a dangerous financial bind. It’s more prevalent than you can imagine. According to a survey by CNBC, more than half of all Americans (58%) live paycheck to paycheck. When money is tight, it’s crucial to pinpoint and cut out wasteful expenditures that eat away at your hard-earned savings.

Avoid These 19 Pointless Expenses When Living Paycheck to Paycheck