In the 1980s, movie magic was all the rage. We got hits like “The Breakfast Club” and “E.T.” But, as in any era, not every film was destined for Oscar greatness. Some were so uniquely terrible that they deserved their own walk of shame. Let’s journey down the rabbit hole into the land of ’80s cinematic disasters.
The Blunder of “Mac and Me”
Here we have a boy-meets-alien story that desperately wanted to be another E.T. Instead, the audience was graced with an alien that resembled a sad, forgotten party balloon. Throw in a bizarre dance number in the middle of McDonald’s, and you have a recipe for instant facepalming. Why, ’80s, why?
Howard the Duck’s Extended Bizarre Ride
An extraterrestrial duck named Howard making a surprise entry onto Earth – the stuff of legends, or perhaps, nightmares? But audiences got an eye sore instead of a fun, fish-out-of-water tale. Howard’s bizarre appearance was one thing, but adding a human-duck love storyline was another. It’s one of those films where someone throws every wild idea at the wall to see what sticks. Unfortunately, not much did.
Superman IV’s Extended Noble Fail
In theory, Superman trying to rid the world of nuclear threats paints a noble picture. But the devil is in the details – or, in this case, the shoddy execution. The special effects felt like they were pulled straight from a kid’s crayon box. And don’t get us started on Superman fixing the Great Wall of China with just his eyes. Coupled with odd character developments and cringeworthy moments, audiences weren’t just scratching their heads but facepalming.
Xanadu’s Extended Dizzy Spin
Olivia Newton-John roller-skating her way into our hearts should’ve been the stuff of disco dreams. With musical numbers popping left and right, the film promised a magical musical ride. Instead, audiences got an unclear plot that hopped between periods and musical styles, leaving many feeling they’d been on a bad roller coaster – dizzy and not in a good way.
The Gross Side of “The Garbage Pail Kids Movie” Expanded
Trading cards turned movie – intriguing, right? Yet, when these grotesque puppet kids made it onto the screen, they were, quite frankly, the stuff of nightmares. Instead of the humorous and cheeky fun of the cards, we got disturbing visuals, a plot that wandered aimlessly, and jokes that felt like they were scooped from the bottom of the barrel.
Diving Deeper Into “Jaws: The Revenge”
By the time the fourth entry of the shark attack saga came around, audiences were hoping for a fresh wave of suspense. But logic took a backseat in this one. Sharks hold grudges now? Between the laughable plot and the rubbery shark effects, viewers might have been rooting for the fish.
Leonard Part 6’s Extended Espionage Misadventure
Mixing espionage with humor isn’t easy, and boy, did this one prove it. Bill Cosby’s attempt at a quirky secret agent landed more in the zone of “bizarre” than “hilarious.” Between battling vegetarian zealots and riding an ostrich, Leonard was less James Bond and more confused circus ringleader.
The Longer Drive of Caddyshack II’s Uninspired Swing
Building on the comedic gold of the original, this sequel took a mighty swing and landed in the bunker. Missing most of the original cast was a letdown, but the newer characters and forced jokes turned the delightful golf chaos of the first into a monotonous round on a lackluster course. This film proves that sequels are never as good as the original movies.
Bolero’s Even Longer Tiresome Journey
Sensuality, adventure, and self-discovery are compelling elements for a film. But in Bolero, these themes dragged on in endless scenes that felt more sleep-inducing than sensual. Characters lacked depth, and the story felt disjointed, leading to many yawns in the theater. There’s a reason that almost everyone has forgotten about this movie!
Deep Into “Cannibal Women in the Avocado Jungle of Death”
The title alone screams campy fun. And yet, with the promise of quirky humor and a zany plot, it still left many viewers wanting. While there’s a dash of satire about gender roles, the random storyline and over-the-top performances turned a potential cult classic into an avocado mash of confusion.
The Trouble With “Maximum Overdrive’s” Short Circuit
The idea of machines going rogue and wreaking havoc screams potential. However, “Maximum Overdrive” skidded off the track. From a homicidal soda machine to a malevolent electric knife, it seemed like the film was trying too hard to be eccentric. Although the AC/DC tracks were good, the overall experience was as jarring as a truck horn at midnight.
A Closer Look At “The Adventures of Pluto Nash’s” Misguided Voyage
Eddie Murphy, with his unparalleled comic flair, has brought us classics. Yet, even he couldn’t salvage this trip to the moon. The futuristic lunar cityscape was visually attractive, but the plot took a nosedive with weird choices and jokes that fell flatter than an asteroid crater. This adventure was less “blast off” and more “system malfunction.”
Decoding Sheena’s Jumbled Jungle Antics
Taking comic tales to the cinema can be a win. “Sheena,” however, missed the bullseye. While the jungle setting was lush, the action felt limp. The audience expected a fierce jungle queen, but instead, they got lost in a maze of patchy plot twists and lackadaisical action scenes.
The Not-So-Gripping Grapple of “Over the Top”
Picture this: Sylvester Stallone in a high-octane… arm wrestling showdown? Yeah, this film is as lackluster and bland as it sounds. The blend of family drama with intense arm wrestling bouts felt jarringly off-beat. While Stallone tried to flex his dramatic muscles, the film’s essence got lost in a sweaty tangle of limbs.
Breaking Down “Teen Wolf Too’s” Muffled Howl
Taking the werewolf concept to college could’ve been a fresh twist. Instead, we got an oddly placed boxing subplot and a narrative that lacked the bite of its predecessor. The charm and relatability of the original were notably absent, leaving audiences wishing for a silver bullet to end the sequel’s misery.
Wandering Through “Ishtar’s” Humor Desert
Two bumbling musicians lost in a desert sounds ripe for comedy gold. Unfortunately, “Ishtar” was more sand than sparkle. With its humor proving as thirsty as the film’s desolate setting, audiences were left thirsting for genuine laughs and a clear direction. It could’ve been a really great film, but it ended up being anything but that.
Navigating the Confusing Galaxy of “Star Wars Holiday Special”
For “Star Wars” fans, this was supposed to be a festive treat. Yet, bizarre segments like a Wookiee family soap opera and unsettling musical numbers turned it into a head-scratching anomaly in the Star Wars universe. Instead of cheering for the rebels, viewers found themselves navigating this clumsy asteroid field of a special.
“Gymkata’s” Awkward Martial Arts Mashup
Marrying gymnastics with martial arts could have been an innovative cinematic treat, but “Gymkata” left audiences in disbelief and stifled giggles. The protagonist uses pommel horse routines to defeat foes in village brawls, and the plot about a deadly game in a fictional country is as flimsy as a worn-out gym mat. Instead of a graceful cinematic routine, we got an awkward tumble of action and drama.
Generational Shift: 18 Classic Cars Loved by Boomers, Snubbed by Millennials
In the world of automobiles, some cars are timeless, forever etched in the minds and hearts of those who drove them. But generational shifts in taste and values can lead to once-beloved vehicles being relegated to the shadows. Let’s revisit 18 classic cars adored by Baby Boomers but often overlooked by Millennials.
From Boom to Bust: 18 States on the Brink of Financial Ruin—What Went Wrong?
We’re embarking on a financial roller coaster ride through 18 states, and it isn’t the fun kind. We’re talking about states having to check under the mattress and behind the couch cushions for extra change. These states are trying to balance their budgets, but the numbers aren’t increasing. Why are they skimming through their wallets like they lost a 20-dollar bill? Let’s find out!
Avoid These 19 Pointless Expenses When Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Living from paycheck to paycheck puts one in a dangerous financial bind. It’s more prevalent than you can imagine. According to a survey by CNBC, more than half of all Americans (58%) live paycheck to paycheck. When money is tight, it’s crucial to pinpoint and cut out wasteful expenditures that eat away at your hard-earned savings.
Thomas Ashwood is an American author whose genuine storytelling has captured the essence of everyday life. Hailing from the quiet suburbs of Portland, Oregon, Thomas’s writings are imbued with the rich tapestry of characters and moments that have shaped his journey. Whether he’s crafting poignant short stories or diving into larger narrative arcs, there’s an undeniable authenticity in his prose that invites readers into the depths of his characters’ lives.