A man took to Reddit to find out where he might have gone wrong after his girlfriend Evelyn stopped responding to his text messages.
The original poster (OP) explained that the couple had been dating for three months. When they first started dating, they split the bills for their dates.
When things became more serious, the OP began paying for their dates, which usually included dinner and entertainment. He mentioned that he does better than Evelyn financially, and she sometimes struggles to make ends meet, so he did not mind at all.
Things Take a Turn
Recently, the OP’s brother ran into some car trouble. His brother gets paid monthly, so he did not have enough money to fix his car. He asked the OP for a short-term loan to get his car back on the road.
The OP had the money available, so he lent it to his brother. Giving his brother a loan did not force the OP into financial hardship, but it meant he wouldn’t have much money to spend on dates for a few weeks. The OP was upfront about this with his girlfriend.
Dinner and a Movie Leads to Something More
Shortly after the OP loaned his brother the money for the car repair, Evelyn invited him to see a movie and have dinner afterward.
The OP paid for the movie tickets and refreshments. After the movie, Evelyn chose the restaurant for dinner.
When the bill came, the OP asked his girlfriend to pay for the meal. Since he had already paid for the movie tickets and snacks, he did not have enough money to cover dinner as well. Evelyn paid the bill, but she was obviously upset about it.
When they returned to the OP’s car, she asked why he couldn’t pay. He reminded her about his brother’s car and the loan.
Evelyn said she forgot he lent his brother money. She then mentioned that the OP knows she has financial struggles and never should’ve let her pick an expensive restaurant if he expected her to pay.
The Drop-Off and the Brush Off
The OP dropped Evelyn off at her house after their date. She has not responded to any of his text messages since.
The OP acknowledges that he knew his girlfriend was on a tight budget. In hindsight, he thinks he should’ve reminded her about his money situation before they went out rather than when the check for dinner arrived.
On the other hand, he did tell her about loaning his brother some money and being low on cash. Also, Evelyn did invite him, and she picked the restaurant.
The OP wasn’t sure what to make of the situation, so he turned to the AITA subreddit for opinions.
Redditors Chime In
The fact that the situation was utterly avoidable did not go unnoticed. “Communication is vital to any relationship. If you are going on a date, discuss the details first, like who is paying for what or who is treating whom,” one user advised.
Many of the Reddit users who responded felt that Evelyn was being unreasonable. One user stated, “She picked an expensive restaurant, assuming you were going to pay, and when you couldn’t, and she had to, she got mad.”
A few viewed her behavior as a red flag and encouraged the OP to move on. “It’s weird that she expects you to pay for every date. And now she is ghosting you? Find a new girlfriend.”
Not everyone sided with the OP, however. One user wrote, “This was on you. You knew you couldn’t pay for the restaurant, so obviously, you should have let her know. Then she can say, ‘Don’t worry, I’m paying.’ Or she can say ‘Oh, let’s go somewhere less expensive then.’ But you didn’t give her the chance.”
What Do You Think?
Is Evelyn only interested in the OP’s money? Did the OP bring this on himself by not discussing arrangements until the bill came? Would you invite someone out on a date and expect them to pay for everything?
Read the entire Reddit thread here.
Image credits: Unsplash
Jerry is a personal finance enthusiast, side hustler, and freelance web developer who began his career in financial services. He co-founded KindaFrugal.com, a personal finance and frugal living blog. His insights have appeared on MSN, Newsweek.com, HerCampus.com, Mashed.com, and many others.