When an adult child moves back in with their parents, it’s often a time for compromises for both parties. But what happens when a small, annoying habit turns into a major issue? One woman was concerned about her daughter’s spending habits so she decided to take action.
Her Daughter Is Moving Home
OP’s daughter, 31, has been living in Brussels for the past four years. Now, she’s moving back to London, where OP lives.
Her daughters accepted a better work position. The catch? She can’t move into her new flat until mid-February. Because of this, the daughter asked OP if she can stay with them.
She’s Not Paying Rent but Spends a Fortune Online
OP missed her daughter and readily agreed, denying her daughter’s offer of rent. But now, OP sees how much money her daughter spends buying things online.
She Has a Shopping Issue
“It’s been great but one thing I’ve noticed is that my daughter has a habit of ordering online. A lot,” she explained, adding that her daughter won’t even go to the shop for toothpaste, which gets delivered to the door along with everything else.
She Orders Everything Online
Her daughter even has groceries delivered — something her daughter insists on paying for since she lives back home rent-free. But OP feels her daughter, and others like her, are the reason all of their locally-owned shops are shutting down.
It’s Unhealthy So She’s Been Returning All the Packages
“It’s unhealthy, and every time for a week now, whenever a package came, I returned it, which forced her to shop locally a few times.”
OP sent one too many packages back, and now her daughter has called her out for it. “She accused me of treating her like a child,” OP wrote, adding that: “I told her that something had to be done and I tried explaining my point but she told me she’s done.”
Did She Do the Wrong Thing?
Now OP is wondering if she was wrong to return her daughter’s packages.
Online Forum Users Comment
One online forum user thinks there’s a clear reason OP’s daughter chose to live in a different country.”YTA. FORCE her to shop locally by stealing your adult daughter’s mail?” They asked, adding, “No wonder she spent the past few years in an entirely different country from you.”
They Think She Values the Shops More Than Her Daughter
One forum user thinks OP ‘values the shops’ more than her daughter.
Another wants to know who OP thinks she is. “I think the daughter will be moving far away again VERY soon….YTA.”
Someone called OP out for her serious control issues.
She Was Right to Leave
“You wanted her to do things your way and decided to force her to do so because you feel your way is the best way and the only way,” they wrote. “It is a control thing with you. She was right to leave.”
They felt that in OP’s mind, they “will never be wrong and this is evidenced by calling her unreasonable for her reaction to [their] treachery.”
Dealing With Children as Adults Is Different
Dealing with parents as an adult is wholly different from when you’re a minor and can be complicated on a whole new level. Would you have moved to a hotel or is there another way the daughter could have handled this issue?
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