Disclosure: This post may contain affiliate links, meaning if you decide to make a purchase via my links, I may earn a commission at no additional cost to you. See my disclosure for more info.
Well, well, well, look at the situation you’ve gotten yourself in. You’re officially stranded on a desert island. Admit it, things look pretty bleak, don’t they? Fortunately, it’s not time to lose hope (yet). Aren’t you glad you printed this article before leaving for your so-called “vacation of a lifetime?” If you don’t make the following mistakes, you’ll live to see another day. Here’s what you shouldn’t do when stranded on a deserted island.
1. Drink Seawater
For goodness sake, don’t even think about drinking seawater. Although it’s technically water, the salt content makes it massively dangerous to drink. Remember as a kid how traumatizing it was getting taken out by a wave and accidentally gulping down a few ounces of ocean water? I’ve got bad news: It’s no less traumatizing (and dangerous) to drink it when you find yourself deserted on an island!
2. Panic
I don’t blame anyone for stripping off their clothes and running around in a panic when they discover they’re helplessly stranded. However, as one expert advises, panicking is, like, the worst thing you can do in this situation. “While it’s natural to feel scared and overwhelmed, panicking can lead to poor decision-making and waste valuable energy and resources,” reveals one expert. “Stay as calm as possible and focus on finding solutions.”
3. Ignore Injuries
Just like you wouldn’t ignore injuries back home, the same discipline is required when stranded on a deserted island. Even minor cuts can develop into significant infections, leading to sickness and death. Getting stranded is embarrassing enough; do you really want your family and friends reading in your obituary that you died on an island because you ignored a small cut on your arm? That’s how losers die, and you’re not a loser!
4. Waste Your Energy
Your energy is your most precious resource, so don’t waste it. It’s time to accept the reality of the situation: You’re stranded on a deserted island; it’s okay to be bored most of the time. Don’t run five miles around the island because you’re bored. Don’t do a pilates workout you’ve memorized from back home. Don’t practice a capella versions of your favorite karaoke hits. All of these activities will drain you of all-important energy. You’ll need all the energy you have when the bears finally start attacking.
5. Build Fires in Flammable Areas
Without electricity, staying warm is anyone’s priority when stranded on a deserted island. Be smart when building fires, assuming you know how to make a fire. You received your Cub Scouts merit badge in survival, didn’t you? “If you decide to build a fire, ensure it’s away from flammable materials such as dry leaves, trees, or brush,” one person explains. “A runaway fire can put you in greater danger.” The last thing you want is to burn down the entire island!
6. Sleep In
Now’s not the time to work on your beauty sleep. You should maintain a rigorous sleep schedule, waking with the sun at dawn and sleeping at sundown. By employing this sleep schedule, you can take advantage of precious daylight for better visibility during a potential rescue. In addition, you can keep a better lookout for predators who might view you as an easy target come nightfall.
7. Make Friends With Animals
Let me make one thing clear: Animals are not your friends. Sure, in a non-catastrophic scenario, random animals are great to befriend, ride on, and make into a private butler to cater to your every need. Still, in this particular scenario, animals should not be considered your friends. While it’s advised to stay away from all animals, I won’t knock you if you decide they look too delicious to pass up. After all, you’re only human.
8. Expose Yourself to Direct Sunlight
You’re already helplessly stranded; there’s no need to add skin cancer to your laundry list of problems! Keep your exposure to direct sunlight to a minimum. While you’re undoubtedly daydreaming about being tan when the rescue helicopters finally arrive, exposing yourself to so much sun is not worth your physical health!
9. Ignore Tides and Currents
Just like summer vacation, paying attention to riptides in the ocean is imperative. While it may seem relaxing to take a quick swim to distract you from your likely future demise, one wrong move can put you in a watery grave. “Pay attention to the tides and currents, especially if you’re stranded close to the ocean,” directs one woman. “Strong currents can be dangerous and make it difficult to leave the island.”
10. Waste Freshwater
Besides your energy, fresh water is your most valuable resource on the island. Having a supply of drinkable water can mean the difference between surviving until help arrives and being found weeks later, face down and naked in the sand. If it rains, collect the rainwater for future drinking and bathing. Use anything to catch the rain; even your cupped hands can work in a pinch!
11. Be Reliable on Technology
It’s time to put down the phone for good (or at least for 23 hours and 59 minutes per day). While you should conserve your smartphone’s battery as much as possible, it’s generally advised to try for a cell signal for one minute per day. However, once that minute passes, put the phone down and put yourself in the shoes of pre-technology civilization! Now, it’s all about survival, and no piece of tech will save you.
12. Eat Unfamiliar Things
I’ve lost countless friends and family to being stranded on deserted islands, and they all succumb to the same fate: Eating poisoned berries. If only they heeded this warning before they started jamming random plants into their mouths: “Unless you are an experienced survivalist or have proper knowledge of local flora and fauna, avoid eating any plants you are not familiar with,” recommends one man. “Many can be poisonous and dangerous.”
13. Start Swimming Away
While conventional wisdom (or your ingrained stupidity) suggests that swimming away from the island in search of rescue is sensible, it is not! Swimming away from the island is a death sentence. Even if you have the stroke skills of Michael Phelps in his prime, you won’t get far before you either exhaust yourself or get eaten by a shark. Stay on land where you’ll be safer than if you were doing your best Nemo impression.
14. Give Up Signaling for Help
Remember, your ultimate goal is to leave the island one day, so you should never stop signaling for help. It doesn’t matter if your arms are tired from dragging flotsam around to spell out a gigantic “HELP” in the sand; you must never stop trying to be rescued! Don’t take a day off to work on your tan or “relax.” You never know; help could be just a few miles away!
15. Fall in Love
Whatever you do, don’t fall in love. I don’t care if you find yourself deliriously attracted to various animals, holes in the ground, or random pieces of wood strewn about. Don’t fall in love with anything. Trust me, nothing is more embarrassing than eventually being rescued from a deserted island while you’re in the middle of “declaring your love” to a worn-out volleyball you found a few weeks earlier!
Source: Quora.
Timeless Wisdom: 20 Seinfeld Quotes That Perfectly Capture Life’s Quirks
Enter the quirky, fast-paced world of “Seinfeld,” a sitcom that entertained and offered a treasure trove of timeless quotes. From “No soup for you!” to “Yada, yada, yada,” these lines have transcended eras, encapsulating life’s quirks with wit and precision. In this collection, discover 21 ageless Seinfeld quotes that effortlessly encapsulate the essence of everyday situations, proving that the show’s humor and insight continue to resonate, remaining as relevant now as they were during their first hilariously unforgettable airing. Thanks, Jerry, for your insight…
Timeless Wisdom: 20 Seinfeld Quotes That Perfectly Capture Life’s Quirks
