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Working in teams can sometimes feel like a tug-of-war battle. Everyone is tackling the same problem enthusiastically and confidently but from completely different angles. The result is a tangled mess of undermining efforts, wasted energy, and bruised egos—often caused by personality clashes that make collaboration more challenging. When you feel the tension rising in your group, the best thing you can do is take a step back to regroup. Focus on the areas where everyone agrees and slowly work toward realigning the team so efforts can be compounded for greater efficiency. Easier said than done? Read on for 12 tips to help you make it happen.
1. Don’t Be Tempted to Ignore Them Entirely
According to popular advice, it is best to “just ignore” people who are difficult and toxic at work. However, this will only bring you more headaches down the line. By ignoring a coworker, you are turning into somebody who is being irresponsible and unprofessional. In reality, it may not be feasible to ignore someone when you’re on the same team.
2. Stick to Work-Related Communication Only
Instead of ignoring the person, simply stick to the essential communication for your work. You can say things like “Let’s not get distracted” to keep the conversation from going off course. Keep things short, sweet, and to the point to increase productivity and limit the tension between the two conflicting attitudes.
3. Ask For Help
If the person is blocking work or downright ignoring you, try reaching out to other team members for help. Though it’s not ideal, other team members may have advice for approaching the person differently or may be able to get information from the coworker since you’re all on the same team.
4. Don’t Stoop to Their Level
Remember to control your emotions. Don’t give in to cheap provocations. No matter the person’s behavior, approach them with dignity and respect. Think of your long-term career aspirations. Is the petty conflict with this person worth jeopardizing your reputation within your company and industry? Keeping the big picture in mind can make it easier to muster the fortitude to work through challenges.
5. Stick to Online Communication
If possible, stick to email and direct messaging. This way, there is a clear log of your communication that can be used later on as evidence in case the situation escalates to a true workplace conflict. Depending on your history of working with this person, online messaging may also help ease some of the irritation you feel from the other person’s body language or other signals you find off-putting.
6. Practicе Emotional Distance
Don’t take anything they say or do personally. Create a mental screen between you and them. Don’t let them get to you, no matter how difficult and unpleasant their demeanor is. Everything in work and life is temporary. In time, there will be new assignments and new team members to work with that could present much more enjoyable opportunities. Focus on building a reputation as a person others want to work with.
7. Ensure Your Psychological Safety
Remember that you can always leave. No job is worth tolerating the unreasonable behavior of insensitive people. Keep your network strong and resume up to date. Suppose you’re unable to find the support, the opportunity to transfer to another team, or some other guidance from the leadership in your organization after several months of conflict. In that case, it is time to take your talents elsewhere.
8. Establish Clear Boundaries
Building effective relationships at work depends on two-way communication and mutual respect. Throughout your communications with team members, give detailed feedback and explain your boundaries gradually. This will prevent anyone from being blindsided by an onslaught of critical feedback all at once. It also gives the person grace and an opportunity to modify their behavior. In many cases, a simple misunderstanding causes friction to escalate into workplace conflict.
9. Limit Your Communication With Them
You can limit the communication with your difficult coworker(s) to what is essential for your work. As far as everything else is concerned, you can avoid them.
10. Form Strategic Support in the Workplace
Though forming cliques is not advisable, having mentors or other respected colleagues who can offer support when working through a complicated conflict can be helpful. They may present new insight, like how passionate you are about achieving great results, but you come at the solution from different angles. This may allow you to look at things differently and find common ground for compromise with the person you thought was your workplace nemesis. You may be able to work toward greater respect and understanding of one another. What was once a headache could become a great source of personal growth.
11. Use Your Voice
You are not voiceless. As an employee of your company, you have rights, and it is in your company’s interest to keep you happy and productive. So raise your voice and call out coworkers who are being difficult and noncooperative through managerial or HR channels based on the scenario. Maintaining poise and composure is the most important thing to remember when pursuing support. If your comments are inflammatory, it may make it difficult for anyone to hear your side of the story without suspicion of who the guilty party really is.
12. Unwind Properly After Work
Working with people is already hard enough, even when you have one or more difficult coworkers. For example, this study concludes that employees with difficult coworkers experience higher levels of perceived stress in their work, which may affect their decision to leave their jobs. Take steps to relax after work and forget your worries. Check out our complete guide on how to unwind after work.
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