Disclosure: This post may contain affiliate links, meaning if you decide to make a purchase via my links, I may earn a commission at no additional cost to you. See my disclosure for more info.
As with many things in life, behaviors and customs considered acceptable differ from person to person. Some consider certain behaviors polite, while others don’t. However, maintaining classy manners and etiquette can help you navigate social situations with grace and confidence.
With that in mind, it begs the question – what behaviors do people consider polite today? As the times change, social norms evolve. It can be challenging to keep up with the shifts between what is and isn’t appropriate.
As we searched for different etiquette and polite behavior tips from the past listed online, we quickly came across dozens of responses from commentators who found certain practices out of date. We narrowed down our list to practices that are no longer relevant thanks to changes in technology or just felt awkward by today’s social standards. What else would you add to the list?
1. No Answer, No Problem
When most people had landline telephones, it was common to call someone at home and for them to not answer. It was assumed that they weren’t home or they were busy and would call you, or you could call them back at a later date and time. Now, friends and family are concerned if they call someone and the party doesn’t pick up immediately, they assume something terrible has happened.
2. Unannounced Visits
People hardly ever stop by to see a friend or relative unannounced because you happen to be in the neighborhood. It was a pleasant surprise when an unexpected guest came over for a visit. Today, it’s seen as rude not to give your expected hosts a heads-up that you’re coming over or to at least confirm they’ll be home before stopping by.
3. Unlocked Doors
That is purely dependent on where someone lives, but believe it or not, there were communities in the United States deemed so safe that their residents didn’t feel the need to lock their houses or cars. They didn’t have to worry about someone breaking in. Keeping house and car doors unlocked in 2023 is the same as putting out the welcome mat for thieves.
4. Serving Homemade Food to Kids
Thirty years ago, adults didn’t think twice about serving food to groups of children. Whether it was cupcakes at a community festival or a cake at a classroom birthday celebration, feeding other people’s children was normal. Nowadays, however, with so many children suffering from severe food allergies or on special diets, adults have to be cautious about the homemade foods they offer without first checking with their parents.
5. Weight Loss Inquiries
Maybe it was the Oprah Winfrey effect, but it used to be acceptable to ask someone about their weight, especially if they appeared to have lost a significant amount. In 2023, commenting about another person’s weight, even complimenting them on dropping extra pounds, is offensive. One doesn’t know if the weight loss was due to illness, stress, or done intentionally, so it’s best to avoid saying anything.
6. Voting Questions
Politics has always been a fraught topic many people don’t discuss, and it was especially bad form to ask someone who they voted for. One reason for today’s toxic political climate is that people are not only bold enough to question who someone voted for, but respondents are proud to disclose their choices. No matter which side of the aisle you’re on, it’s best to keep that information under wraps to keep the peace.
7. What’s in a Name?
Referring to a married woman by her husband’s first and last name instead of her first name is an antiquated practice that has mercifully gone out of style. There’s nothing wrong with a woman changing her last name after marriage, but to call someone Mrs. John Smith when her name is Jane Smith appears as if she surrendered her identity the minute she married.
8. Using Disposable Cameras
Before smartphones with built-in cameras existed, anyone who wanted to take photos had to use a regular camera or buy a disposable one. A good-quality 35mm camera easily costs hundreds of dollars, not to mention the cost of film and development. However, disposable cameras were relatively inexpensive, allowed people to take decent photos, and didn’t cost much to develop the film.
9. Forced Hugs and Kisses
Forcing little kids to give hugs and kisses against their will to adult relatives who demand them has always been a bad look. Now that there is more awareness of body autonomy, adults should respect children’s wishes when they say no to hugs and kisses. Forced contact to protect an adult’s feelings is beyond gross. If adults don’t want to be forced to have physical contact with someone else, why would they force a child to do just that?
10. Tipping
There was a time when giving 15 percent tips to delivery drivers and wait staff seemed generous and was the standard gratuity. Those days are long gone. Customers are expected to tip at least 20 percent and pay an even higher gratuity for larger dining parties. Anything less than that earns you a reputation as a cheapskate unless you’re tipping for takeout instead of delivery.
11. Really Personal Questions
Asking single men and women when they were planning to get married and haranguing married couples about when they were going to have children were always sensitive topics. But the expansion of marriage rights and an awareness of fertility issues make those subjects out of bounds, and rightfully so. Marriage and children are personal matters and should stay that way.
12. Nicknames and Honorifics
Referring to strangers as “cutie pie,” “darling,” “dear,” “honey,” “sugar,” and “sweetie” isn’t necessarily rude, but it can make the recipients understandably uncomfortable. It’s being too familiar with others without having a personal relationship with them. Honorifics such as ma’am, miss, madam, and sir are traditionally a sign of respect, but using them in the contemporary era can be tricky. Gender identities are more inclusive than the binary her and him, and some may find honorifics to be ageist.
13. Memorizing Phone Numbers
In the early 1990s, most people relied on landlines to make and receive phone calls. Since mobile phones weren’t common, callers didn’t have a digital phone directory with important phone numbers, so they memorized them. It was typical for people to remember multiple phone numbers by heart, but now that they’re saved in cell phones, the only number some folks can recall is their own.
14. In-Person Job Applications
People looking for work in the early 1990s pounded the pavement and either filled out a paper application at the job site or hand-delivered a copy of their resume to the person in charge of hiring. Applying for jobs in person is practically unheard of today, with employers of all sizes relying on online application systems to find potential candidates.
15. Using a Phone Book
It seems like a lifetime ago when Ma Bell published and delivered printed phone books with the Yellow Pages every year. If you want to find a person or business now, a quick internet search is all that’s needed to find a phone number and address. Online searches are fast, but there’s something special about those printed phone directories you can’t get from Google.
16 Coolest Small Towns in the U.S. You’ve Never Heard Of
Image Credit: Shutterstock.[/caption]
One of my favorite things about this country is the differences in each state. A cross-country road trip can take you from the mountains to the desert, coast, and swampland, with each region representing its unique charm and culture. I’m an avid road tripper and have had the privilege of spending some time in these small towns. They left their mark on me in the best way possible.
15 Activities Now Out of Reach Amid Economic Price Surge
In this era of profound social division and discord, one thing everyone can agree on is worsening conditions for healthy personal finance. Whether it’s the dream of homeownership, the goal of building a robust investment portfolio, or simply affording necessities like food, individuals across the spectrum struggle to overcome the decline in their financial well-being due to economic changes.
